Last week I suggested that the Democrat Party change their mascot from its traditional Donkey to the Kool-Aid Pitcher Person. While I think it’s a great idea, there are always alternatives. I am determined to find the Democrat Party a new mascot. During the 2000 Presidential election fiasco the Democrats became the voice of recounts. They were all about counting every single Democrat vote. It didn’t even matter who had the most votes. More people wanted to vote for Al Gore and they were disenfranchised.
In 2004, Senator John Kerry faced a similar travesty in Ohio. Kerry lost by a narrow 150,000 votes and contemplated recounting the entire state. He still thinks the election was stolen. Keep in mind there has been proven widespread voter fraud in Wisconsin during both elections, each time Bush lost by a very narrow margin. One of the unsaid rules of politics is that voter fraud only applies to Republicans. In the state of Washington, it is perfectly fine for felons and dead people to vote illegally, as long as they vote for Democrats. This is why Sesame Street’s the Count von Count would be a great mascot. Not only does he love to count and recount, but he’s also technically a Vampire. Finally, the undead would find the representation they have been voting for all along. Besides Al Gore is there anyone on the planet that would be more excited about recounting all the votes in Florida. The Count is always ready for vote counting. The fangs and stuff could be considered extreme but the Democrat Party is all about inclusion and on a subconscious level, Liberals see the US Government as a way to suck us dry.
There’s one little problem with your suggestion, though it’s a great one… Count von Count is always accurate in his counting, which is a big problem when you’re dredging up voter reg cards from every precinct with a cemetery.
I see one, one member of the right wing conspiracy, ahahaha. Two! Two members of the right wing conspiracy, ahahaha!
this is quite possibly the most amazing thing I’ve read this week.
nice work Mike!
[...] it comes to creative counting there’s no one better than the Democratic Party. The DNC has a simple philosophy; if you’re behind, keep counting until you win. Then, quit [...]