Yesterday while I was writing about Circuit City I had a rush of old memories from retail. I worked in retail for almost four years and I saw a lot of crazy stuff. In some ways I think people would be friendlier to each other if everyone had to work at some point in retail. You definitely learn to appreciate nice people. Anyway, I think I’m going to start a new category here at The Daily Plunge. I’ll call it retail stories. I’ve seen rotting frogs, walls covered in human feces, cars crashing into buildings, crazy customers, and other countless encounters that are all true.
This first story took place at Circuit City. I think this happened a couple of months after I started, but I could be wrong. I was walking back to the bathrooms. At that particular store to get to the bathrooms you had to pass through a door that led to car audio. When I approached the door I noticed there was blood on the door handle, a lot of blood. I used my foot to open the door with no idea what to expect on the other side. When I opened the door a man was laying on the floor in a pool of blood that covered at least fifteen square feet. I’ve never seen so much blood. The man was holding his arm, he was obviously cut bad. Laying about six feet away was a box cutter. I looked down at him and he looked up at me and we both looked at the knife. Mister Man then said “I cut myself on the door.” Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Obviously the box cutter had something to do with the all the blood. I left the room immediately and grabbed a manager. I told her to prepare for bloodfest and we called an ambulance.
I started investigating immediately and followed the blood trail to the corner of the store where I found a half open handheld TV container. This genius tried to cut the TV out of the plastic container and ended up slicing himself open across the arm. Panicked by the self-inflicted carnage he started running for the back exit and according to witnesses blood was squirting as he ran. The ambulance and cops arrived and took him away. I’m not sure what happened to him after that but the memory of floor covered in blood will stick with me forever.
I’m sure the burglar had reason for stealing. It was probably the strain of the Bush administration. The fact is he’s probably the real victim in this story (yeah, that’s sarcasm). I’m just happy I didn’t have to clean up the mess.
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