When it comes to creative counting there’s no one better than the Democratic Party. The DNC has a simple philosophy; if you’re behind, keep counting until you win. Then, quit counting. If by chance counting doesn’t work, blame the courts and the voting machines. Never ever accept the will of the people if they choose the opposition. It’s a simple philosophy that’s worked well in the state of Washington and in Minnesota. I’ve been thinking about counting this week because I received my second census form.
This is your last chance to respond by mail before a Census Bureau Representative contacts you.
It is important that each household respond only once. If you have already provided your census information we thank you – there is no need to provide it again.
I’m horrified. What if the Census Bureau never received my first form? How is my community going to receive its “fair share” if they don’t count me? What’s could be worse? What if everyone is receiving two forms and filling them out? I am disenfranchised! Some of the least-educated places in the United States are also the most densely populated. I’m afraid that the people in these areas will be over-counted. Am I supposed to believe that the entire nation took the time to read the fine print? Who can blame these people? They only want their fair share.
It’s just a bad idea to send two forms that close together. What if John Smith filled out his form for his family and didn’t tell his wife, Jane? A week or so later Jane gets the mail and fills out the form for the family and mails it in? Now I’m sure there’s a process in place for this kind of screw-up; however, how confident are we as citizens in seasonal Census Bureau workers? It’s kind of like going to Best Buy during Christmas and buying an extended warranty from some acne-faced teenager named Todd because he said “it covers everything.” The only problem is Todd has only been on the floor for 48 hours and doesn’t know anything.
Before anyone gets too upset about me picking on ignorant retail workers, keep in mind that I was once an ignorant retail worker. The main point is that this is a colossal program full of waste. That shouldn’t be a surprise to anyone, but it’s still worth pointing out.
I have some more news about the Census. This time it’s a little more personal. The United States Census Bureau sent a notification to my address today. My household will be getting our Census form in about a week. Plus, the form has a handy explanation of why filling out the form is important.
Your response is important. Results from the 2010 Census will be used to help each community get its fair share of government funds for highways, schools, health facilities, and many other programs you and your neighbors need. Without a complete, accurate census, your community may not receive its fair share.
I guess the Constitutional explanation was too difficult. The Census was designed to determine representation and taxation only, not some kind of income redistribution giveaway. The exact quote from the constitution reads: “representatives and direct taxes shall be apportioned among the several states which may be included within this union, according to their respective numbers.” The words “fair” and “share” are conspicuously absent from Article I of the Constitution.
The notification is also in Spanish, just in case illegal immigrants wish to participate in the American experiment. If you happen to speak French, German, Chinese, or Italian, I’m sorry; you’ll just have to learn English first. Then there’s the plight of the the Taiwanese American.
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