I’m real close to jumping on the BDS Bandwagon. And I’m this close (imagine forefinger and thumb a mere centimeter apart) to blaming anything and everything on that bozo in the White House, George W. Bush.
Apparently, when one has BDS, a.k.a., Bush Derangement Syndrome, all problems/catastrophes/near misses are caused by Bush, or Shrub, as those like me who have (or nearly have) BDS call him. This shift in philosophy has been quite liberating for me.
Bad day at work? Simple. It’s that bastard on Pennsylvania Ave. Income static whilst the cost of living rises? It’s that freaking Shrub character. Tornadoes destroy your town? Hurricane gotcha down? It’s Big Oil Texan Guy and his pollutin’ ways. Tsunami? Bush.
The only problem I’m having with joining the BDS Club is that I think he’s too incompetent to cause any real problems. For instance, who in their right mind says, with a straight face, in front of an assembled Congress and millions of fellow Americans, “America is addicted to oil”? No you-know-what, Sherlock. I’m also “addicted to oxygen,” quote end quote, period.
What I don’t understand about the left wing of the BDS Club is why they have it in the first place. The man is simply not conservative. He’s a player, just like Clinton. Problem is, he’s not nearly as smart, smooth, and downright, downhome charming as Clinton. Clinton could feel your pain, bite his lip, eat a Big Mac, say and do strange things with interns, bomb aspirin factories, and deliver the State of the Union, all at the same time, and not miss a beat. The best Bush can muster is a smirk and some Marxist nonsense about guest-worker programs, oil addictions, and not leaving children behind. What a joke.
Better luck in ’08, I suppose, though I have this horrible feeling we’ll be saddled with Mitt Romney. Echoing Alec Baldwin and Co., this really weird co-worker of mine said he’d leave the country if Romney won the Republican nomination. I don’t know if I’ll go that far, but I might just vote for Al Sharpton.
The Democrats are not the only party in need of a new mascot. It’s the twenty first century, it’s time for a new kind of icon that depicts who the Republicans really are these days. It has to be something that appears strong, but retreats quickly. There can only be one choice, the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz. Think about it, Republicans promised tons of reforms when coming to power in 1992 and delivered close to zilch. The Elephants talked a good game on term limits, school choice, Social Security reform, and smaller government, but instead we got huge spending, Homeland Security, and no apparent answer for illegal immigration.
Then there’s the Lion King himself, George W Bush. The mightily lion roared loudly after 9/11 and then got bogged into a political conflict in Iraq. By trying to appease everyone, he appeased no one. Fear of causalities meant not enough troops. Not enough troops meant chaos all over Iraq. Chaos has now led to a nightmare where the President has lost so much credibility the United States cannot do anything about Iran, North Korea , and Syria. It’s gotten to the point where there’s more support by France’s leadership for the continued occupation of Iraq than by most of the Left in the United States. Now the United States has to wait for the next 9/11 type attack before there’s a enough political cooperation to deal with the threats abroad. The Cowardly Lion seems scary at first, but once you get to know him you realize it’s just a lot of hot air (not global warming).
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