On Wednesday, September 30, 2009, something remarkable happened. Every once in awhile someone inadvertently creates a genius work of art; like the Leaning Tower of Pisa, it’s a train wreck remembered for future generations. Journalist Tim Teeman submitted an article for the Times Online that will live in infamy. Teeman’s article about Gore Vidal is a sprawling masterpiece of disconnected adjectives and incomplete thoughts. I find this article so fascinating that I’ve contemplated dedicating a post to every paragraph. I’m serious, this article is that good. Here’s a taste of the madness:
Has he met Obama? “No,” he says quietly, “I’ve had my time with presidents.” Vidal raises his fingers to signify a gun and mutters: “Bang bang.” He is referring to the possibility of Obama being assassinated. “Just a mysterious lone gunman lurking in the shadows of the capital,” he says in a wry, dreamy way.
Where do I begin? The most obvious insane thing is the assassination nonsense, but Teeman’s description of Gore’s statement is even better. Vidal talks casually about Obama getting shot “in a wry, dreamy way?” What?! I wish I could hear the recording of this interview. Is Vidal fantasizing about the murder of our president or is Teeman fantasizing about Vidal? I am sure this conundrum will be discussed in the future by the great philosophers.
What separates this article from a typical celebrity interview is the sheer amount of ground covered. Teeman has successfully created the Gore Vidal greatest hits. The famed author drops bombs on Timothy McVeigh (no pun intended), Joe Kennedy, JFK, Abraham Lincoln, Amelia Earhart, and of course, George Bush.
Vidal originally became pro-Obama because he grew up in “a black city” (meaning Washington), as well as being impressed by Obama’s intelligence. “But he believes the generals. Even Bush knew the way to win a general was to give him another star. Obama believes the Republican Party is a party when in fact it’s a mindset, like Hitler Youth, based on hatred — religious hatred, racial hatred. When you foreigners hear the word ‘conservative’ you think of kindly old men hunting foxes. They’re not, they’re fascists.”
After reading that idiotic diatribe I am full of a sense of irony that Vidal was “impressed by Obama’s intelligence.” Vidal is supposedly an enlightened intellectual, but he casts Republicans as fascist, racists and bigots. The members of the liberal elite intellectual class need to learn more about fascism. While they’re at it they could learn a lot more about the military. According to Vidal people in the military are all stupid. All you have to do is give them a star and they’ll do what you say. Who knew? The next stop on the Vidal crazy train express is JFK.
He observes presidential office-holders balefully. “The only one I knew well was Kennedy, but he didn’t impress me as a good president. It’s like asking, ‘What do I think of my brother?’ It’s complicated. I’d known him all my life and I liked him to the end, but he wrecked his chances with the Bay of Pigs and Suez crises, and because everyone was so keen to elect Bobby once Jack had gone, lies started to be told about him — that he was the greatest and the King of Camelot.
For those scoring at home Vidal was impressed by Obama’s intelligence but not by Kennedy’s presidency. Liberals are going to hate that paragraph. This is probably the closest thing to a sane statement in this article. Kennedy is remembered for being a much better president than the reality. Forgive Americans for grieving over a tragic assassination, but is JFK a top 10 president? Not even close.

Unlike Vidal, William F. Buckley never became a grizzled old man.
The entire article has to be read to be believed. I could go on and on and maybe I’ll come back and revisit this later. It’s a magnificent piece of writing and I’ve only scratched the surface. Vidal predicts the United States will end up in a military dictatorship. I guess those medals will quit working as a motivational tool. I know one thing is for certain; this article will continue to be a source of entertainment for a long time to come.
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