Captain International: Hollywood is busy creating the first Captain America movie. Some people might be tired of American exceptionalism, but it’s a little difficult to separate that from the character of Captain America. Well, not for Hollywood.

He’s [Captain America] a guy that wants to serve his country but he’s not a flag-waver. We’re re-interpretating, sort of, what the comic book version of Steve Rogers was.

Why even bother then? Just come up with a different character name. The audience that loves this stuff is going to be outraged and the film will fail. But hey, at least it will be politically correct. I just hope the producers find a part for Lindsay Lohan. That’s what the world really wants… a re-interpretation of Miss Lohan. In fact, how about Sean Penn as Captain America? He brings health care to average Americans and puts everyone who doesn’t like it in a freaking gulag! Awesome! Nevermind. I’m all for this re-interpretation.

Danger Will Robinson: If the election was held today any Republican would defeat President Obama (who, by the way, wants to serve his country, but he’s not a flag-waver). Before the GOP starts to celebrate a lot can change before 2012, especially since the Republican who polls best against Obama is Jon Voight.

Never Wake UP: Inception has been out a week and it seems like there’s a million different theories about the movie. Here’s a take I read earlier today that created more questions than answers. Warning: If you haven’t seen the movie this article should be avoided. I’m hoping someday to write about this movie and give you my own theory. I slept through most of it, so I’m not so sure I’ll ever do that.

Massive Star (not Lindsay Lohan): Scientists claim to have found the heaviest star ever discovered. It’s not Mama Cass or Lindsay Lohan, if you’re asking. The only reason I bring this up is because of this part of the article.

“Unlike humans, these stars are born heavy and lose weight as they age,” said Crowther, an astrophysicist at the University of Sheffield in northern England. “R136a1 is already middle-aged and has undergone an intense weight loss program.”

Is this really the best analogy Paul Crowther could come up with? I mean, stars couldn’t be any more different than humans. Instead, you could say, “Unlike humans, these stars ____________________.” Insert whatever you want, like, “These stars have been forced on a strict diet by fascist government regulations, a.k.a., physics.” Isn’t that much better? Stars aren’t like humans in any possible way. Unless, of course, you’re talking about Lindsay Lohan. I think our star, the sun, has a drug habit, just like Ms. Lohan. That’s why I think it’s kind of hot this summer, at least here in Sarasota. Get your s*^t together, Sun, before I fry to death on Siesta Key!

Speaking of Lindsay Lohan: She’s only going to spend 12 days of her 90-day sentence in jail. I’m sure by then she will have learned her lesson. I can’t wait for the comeback! Captain America, maybe?

ObamaCare: It seems like years ago when the Democrats passed one of the worst pieces of legislation in American history. Thanks to the evil Democrats the American taxpayer will be funding abortions. Remember when Stupak famously caved thanks to an Obama executive order? The pro-death left dismissed pro-life fears as paranoia. However, we should know better. Whenever you hear the words “let me be clear” be prepared to get the exact opposite of what is said.

Mandate equals tax: The dishonesty of the White House is becoming comical. When it was politically beneficial the White House claimed the ObamaCare mandate wasn’t a tax. My, how times have changed. The President told George Snuffaluffagus Stephanopoulos, “You can’t just make up that language and decide that that’s called a tax increase.” Or, you can, and that’s the way the White House is going to sell its unconstitutional bill to the courts. Let me be clear… The most transparent administration in the history of our great nation is also the most opaque. I’ll let you figure this paradox out on your own, because I can’t.

Inception: I saw the best movie of the year on Friday. Christopher Nolan’s Inception is the most original movie this year and by far the most entertaining. It also contains the best action sequence I’ve seen in a film since the Matrix. Did I mention it’s rated PG-13 and fairly family friendly? The only problem with the film are the petrol-guzzling, jet-setting, tire-burning, I-can-have-mine-but-you-can’t-have-yours stars, but most conservatives have learned to separate willfully ignorant artists from their work. Unfortunately, the willfully ignorant have a very hard time keeping their willful ignorance to themselves, just as Narcissus had a very difficult time taking his eyes off himself.

Gulf Oil Spill: It looks like the spill might finally be contained. The fallout, though, is going to play out for a significant amount of time. I don’t want to subscribe to any conspiracy theories, but it appears there’s been some kind of cap on the media coverage of the effected areas. I guess the devastation is too much for the American people. That didn’t seem to be the media’ philosophy when covering Katrina or Iraq, but who am I to complain? Plus, I’m too busy glued to TMZ and the latest on Lindsay Lohan to really notice. Apparently, she’s pretty “freaked out” about going to jail for 90 days. Don’t bend over for the soap, Lindsay!

Humanitarian Shopping Crisis: Speaking of lazy journalists, here are some images that western media outlets will not show in Gaza. Gauging by the images it sure doesn’t look that bad. I wonder how all those supplies are making their way into the the Hamas-controlled state? I’m sure human-rights activists like Jimmy Carter are all over this one since it looks like the Jews are allowing only three different colors of balloons into Gaza.

Finally, I can’t wait for the movie The Politician. The Aaron Sorkin project will be about the rise and spectacular fall of John Edwards (who, by the way, is a Democrat). I’ll be interested in how they spin one of the worst politicians to come around the past couple of decades. Something tells me it will be a re-telling of that classic tale, The Jerk…

httpvh://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3Vp9fQ616k