Hell yeah! I'm with you, old man!
I hereby proclaim two basic human rights that deserve to be enshrined in the Constitution, or at least upheld as constitutional by the 9th Circuit Court: The right to a job and the right to be free from petroleum and petroleum-based products.
Both satisfy economic and environmental leftists who both know what’s good for you and me. Economic leftists believe that employment is a universal human right. Environmental leftists believe Utopia will be found in a petroleum-free world.
The answer, my friends, is not blowing in the wind. After all, everything that goes into wind power requires something cheap and efficient to fuel the manufacture of said wind power. But no matter, the solution is quite simple… Simply ban petroleum.
When our beloved representatives ban petroleum, nothing will work. Modern society as we know it will cease to exist. All that progress we made over thousands of years? Gone, baby. You may say that my proposal is insane. Yes… Insanely reasonable since it will effectively cut our carbon emissions by almost 100 percent.
Here’s the kicker… Not only will we live in a greenhouse gas-free world, but everyone will have a job. They’ll have to in order to live! But don’t despair, Federal law will require that the elderly, a.k.a., anyone over 60, will be exempt since everyone also has a basic human right to retirement.
That’s right, everyone under 60 will have to maintain five farming plots and hunt and fish twice a day in order to support elderly people they don’t know. Oh, and anyone who doesn’t want to work doesn’t have to! That’s another basic human right. So, make that ten farming plots and hunting and fishing three times a day.
The other obvious advantage to this plan is the end of climate change. Since there will be no human industrial activity, and unlike the billions of years before human beings appeared on the scene, the climate will never change. This will cover another basic human right to be free from a changing climate, or any bad weather whatsoever. So, in reality, this two-fer is really a three-fer. Sign me up!
The job market is difficult these days, but it’s not a bad time to look for government jobs. While companies lay off employees left and right the government only adds and keeps jobs. Great, right? Club Soda forwarded me this job for the National Park Service. The position is for a Climate Change Program Manager.
The Climate Change Program Manager provides overall leadership and management of National Park Service responsibilities, policies, and interests in climate change programs in within the National Park System. The Climate Change office coordinates acquisition and application of broad-based scientific and planning expertise and technologies to support climate change and associated programs.
This job pays between $103,000 to $155,000 per year. Does this sound like a position that is useful? I won’t even go into the whole tired climate change nonsense. The National Park Service has been one of the most poorly run departments in the United States. It’s a shame because 50 years ago it was one of the best departments. Thanks to a growing bureaucracy full of clueless do-gooders it has become a terrible waste of taxpayer dollars.
The Department of the Interior needs to be downsized and broken into smaller departments. Smaller groups are more effective at allocating resources. When a bloated bureaucracy gets involved useless positions like a Climate Change Program Manager are invented to push a political agenda. The amount of wasted money in these government departments is staggering.
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