The Pork State Caucus

On January 4, 2012, in Politics, by Henshaw

There’s no real winner tonight. It’s certainly not a good night for the Republic. A three man race between Rick Santorum, Ron Paul, and Mitt Romney?  The fake, the crazy, and the flip flopper. Does anyone really think those three guys will ever be a good president?

The real loser tonight is Iowa. It’s time to end this farce once and for all. The state of Iowa is a subsidy hog. It’s the reason Tom Harkin has been their senator for decades. Iowa clings to its “first” status to ensure pork forever. In 2016, the GOP shouldn’t recognize Iowa delegates unless they move the caucus back.

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Searching for Tom Harkin

On April 11, 2010, in Miscellaneous, Tom Harkin, by Henshaw

Back in February I wrote about Google’s Parisian Love advertisement during the Super Bowl. It was a great ad and now Google has created a new feature that allows users to tell their own stories. Here is one that I have created especially for The Daily Plunge and my favorite Senator.

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Wishful Thinking: Tom Harkin Edition

On March 4, 2010, in Tom Harkin, by Henshaw

Harking Serving PorkI can hardly believe it’s been more than three months since we’ve posted about America’s favorite member of the Senate, Tom Harkin. As I’ve stated before the Senator from Iowa endorses loser presidential candidates, creates ironic campaign photo ops, introduces piss-poor legislation, panders to his constituency, eats pork, adds pork to aforementioned piss-poor legislation, and wants to take back the White House. Yeaahgahagaagharwaaa! 

Harkin is never silent. There’s just not enough time in the day to keep up with all his ridiculous comments. Over at Hot Air they’ve been watching MSNBC so people like me won’t throw up. I wish someone did the same for Tom Harkin. I’d do it, but I’d probably throw up.

Harkin has a new theory on ObamaCare. The GOP doesn’t want it to pass because they know America will love it.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

This isn’t actually far from the truth. The 30 million or so citizens who get free health care on the backs of all the poor schmucks who have to actually pay for it will love it! The real truth is that the Democrat party wants these people sucking from the teet of the government forever so they’ll vote for the Telly Monster party for life.

Tom Harkin says that as Americans learn more about the bill between now and November they’ll love it. How will Americans learn to love a bill that doesn’t even kick in until 2013? Harkin has been sniffing too much pork.

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Cash for Cloture

On November 21, 2009, in Politics, Tom Harkin, by Henshaw

You know there’s pork on the table when Senator Tom Harkin is in the picture. How much does it cost to buy the vote of Senator Mary Landrieu? For a cool $100 million Landrieu was bribed to move forward with debate.
American Pork
Tom Harkin loves communists
One would hope that there would be real debate about this issue. Democrats have ignored real reform from the beginning. It’s easier to characterize the opposition’s position as “hurry up and die.” Welcome to transparent government. Where the House and the Senate debate bills no one has read on Saturday when no one is watching. Thanks President Obama. Thanks for never taking the lead on this issue. Thanks for never submitting a plan, lying about the opposition, and letting the crazies in Congress derail this whole issue.

A Keg in Every Fridge

On July 27, 2009, in Miscellaneous, Politics, Tom Harkin, by club soda

A beer in every fridge, or on every headFor a measly $10 billion or so, our beloved Uncle Sam could supply every household in America with a full keg of beer. Sound far-fetched? Well, it is, because the government would rather spend it on pork projects that will help guarantee that certain politicians remain in office in perpetuity.

But this is the ultimate pork (beer) barrel project, practically guaranteed to win the undying devotion of tens of millions of Americans. Providing a keg in every refrigerator has the added benefit of finally paying those reparations I’ve been lobbying for since I turned 21.

Our ancestors, some of whom are actually still alive, lived through one of the darkest eras in American history. Beginning in 1919, our forefathers toiled under the yoke of non-alcoholic beverages. Though a Constitutional Amendment rectified the suffering in 1933, Prohibition was a catastrophe that denied citizens the right to drink beer.

It’s about time the government paid for this horrendous mistake and offered reparations to the descendants of those who were denied the right to a cold beer, even if Schlitz was the brew of choice back then.

With money apparently no object in Washington these days, what’s $10 billion or so? It’s a drop in the bucket, or keg in this case. Since 2007, about $11 trillion has been allocated for “economic recovery” of varying stripes. Just think if this money had been properly allocated. Each fridge (or garage, porch or deck) in America could have been supplied with 1,000 kegs.

Obviously, this is probably way too much beer for the average household, excepting frat houses scattered here and there in this great land. Even ten kegs per household would be acceptable and would still represent only a fraction of the money those Looney Tunes in Washington are spending on their cronies and special interests.

The ancient formulation of “a chicken in every pot” would have yielded 22,000 chickens per pot per household, but I think beer is the better deal here. It’s about time Americans stood up for their right to Prohibition reparations, and their right, of course, to party.

four little indians

On April 16, 2009, in Politics, by club soda

Denver Tea Party
Once again, my family and I saddled up Old Blue and headed for Colorado’s state capitol for an old-fashioned protest. Last time, as you may recall, we joined a hastily assembled and relatively small crowd (maybe 500 or so) to protest the so-called Stimulus Bill, which President Obama was signing down the road at the Denver Museum of Nature and Science.
This time, we joined a much larger crowd estimated at around 3,000-4,000 as part of a larger grassroots movement and nationwide gathering on Tax Day to protest government spending and the tax policy necessitated by that spending.
They called it a Tea Party, in honor of the original American patriots who protested the British taxation of tea (without representation, which was their main beef) by tossing a bunch of it into Boston Harbor (a.k.a., Bastan Hawbaw). I’m not sure the analogy holds up very well to close scrutiny, but I suppose it’s a brand of sorts that people can identify with.
So, what’s our beef? Why bother? Isn’t the government trying its best to “stimulate” the economy? My reasons for supporting the movement are best encapsulated by James Madison, who wrote in Federalist #62:

“The internal effects of a mutable policy are still more calamitous. It poisons the blessings of liberty itself. It will be of little avail to the people that the laws are made by men of their own choice if the laws be so voluminous that they cannot be read, or so incoherent that they cannot be understood…”

This is exactly the situation we find ourselves in today. These mammoth spending bills, which spend money we don’t have, are both voluminous and incoherent to the point that even those words fail to accurately describe their monstrosity. What we’re seeing is a massive transfer of wealth from the average person to the bottomless pit of political favoritism and cronyism, paid for in part by the current generation, but certain to multiply to future generations.
Any serious and ideologically-blind study of the economic consequences of this type of spending policy, and the term policy is being used very loosely here, shows that it is unsustainable. At the recent G-20 Summit, even socialist Europe balked a bit at America’s latest and seemingly unending spending spree. If America goes down that road, who’s left to support Europe and defend it from the crazies who are feverishly working to develop nuclear weapons so they can spring their version of Utopia on an unsuspecting, welfare-numbed, drug-addled, and American Idolized West?
Moreover, a government that grows outside of the bounds set by the Constitution is certain to infringe on our individual liberties. The state that takes on a parental role supplants the role of the individual and the family. What has made America exceptional is not the government’s ability to provide for every need, but to empower the individual to meet his own needs without governmental interference.
Thus the Declaration of Independence declares, “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” These unalienable rights are not derived as government handouts. I do not have a right to free medical care (which I’ll be on a waiting list to receive) or anything else from the public weal. Nor do I have an express right to “happiness”. But I do have the right to pursue happiness, unfettered by government dictating to me how I should pursue that happiness.
It’s important to remember that the founders did not dive headlong, willy-nilly into the creation of our unique governmental system. Instead, they wrangled over every jot and tittle. They painstakingly studied the history and form of every government since the dawn of civilization, marking their strengths and weaknesses to derive a form most suited for a free people.
It’s safe to say that the founders’ studious approach is not taken by our current leaders, either Democrat or Republican. The only studies they do are based on maintaining their power and filling the coffers of those who help them maintain their power.
So when a bill comes before Congress that’s piled three feet high in pork and partisan paybacks and sold as stimulus, thinking people begin to think that maybe we’re heading in the wrong direction. The majority of people I met at today’s protest were thinking people; average Joes, if you will, who want our government to exercise self-control and discipline in order to secure our right to pursue happiness. Happiness, as anyone knows, is not found at the DMV or any other government bureaucracy that makes you stand in line for hours and has no concept of customer service, nor does it care.
Another striking thing about the protest was how orderly and well-behaved everyone was. This was in stark contrast to your typical left-wing protest, where profanity, invective, and mean-spiritedness prevail. My hope is that the hard-working, family-oriented American wins the day and wins back our country.

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The Smell of Pork

On March 5, 2009, in Politics, Tom Harkin, by Henshaw

I’ve stated before that Senator Tom Harkin is a national treasure. As long as he resides in the Senate he will be a shining beacon of government waste. Now the godfather of pork is in favor of pork to research the smell of pork. I have a pretty rich imagination but even I couldn’t come up with this story. Not only did Tom Harkin have the audacity to ask for $1.8 million for pig odor research (Tom Harkin), he defends asking for the money.

“It is critical to our state’s economy but as the demand has grown for pork and as we produce more pork, you can understand that the management problems of what to do with the waste has become very serious, not only for the odor problems but the waste itself,” he said, adding that the research would examine the food swine eat and the management of what is done with the waste. “This is not wasteful or unnecessary or frivolous,” Harkin said.

Oh contraire, it is most definitely wasteful, unnecessary, and frivolous. If this is such an important issue in Iowa than the taxpayers of that state should pay for it. It is certainly not the best interesting of the United States to spend money on odor research. Where does this end? Rat elimination research could benefit many cities. Can the government give me a million dollars to get rid of the rats in my attic? If Obama doesn’t veto this earmark laden bill I’m not sure how anyone can take him seriously any more. The Democrats simply saved all their earmarks for this one bill. At some point the President has to stand up to Congress or his presidency is going to become a farce.

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let them eat pork

On February 25, 2009, in Politics, Tom Harkin, by Henshaw

Senator Tom HarkinThe Godfather of pork is at it again. Senator Tom Harkin has shaken the money tree for a few hundred thousand dollars for trails in Iowa. That’s right, American taxpayers are funding natural trails in a state known for corn, pork, caucus, and Tom Harkin. This pet project isn’t even in the stimulus package.

U.S. Sen. Tom Harkin says he’s secured $380,000 for Whiterock Conservancy to build trails. The funding, among $56 million destined for projects in central Iowa, is part of the Omnibus Appropriations Act of 2009 to be voted on in the House today and the Senate next week.

The Omnibus Appropriations Act? Is Omnibus a character from Transformers? No worries, it’s just another 410 billions dollars to fund the nation through September. It’s the largest jump in spending since the Carter administration and this follows the Stimulus bill. This is change all right, there are 9,000 earmarks in the bill. The bill pays for Obama’s inauguration, the UN, international family planning, and migrant housing. The best thing about passing an 700 billion dollar pork monstrosity is that no one will pay attention to the 400 billion dollar pork bill that follows.

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grand theft obama

On February 17, 2009, in Politics, Tom Harkin, by club soda

In a fit of rage over the transfer of wealth (my wealth!) to political cronies across America I packed up the family and my visiting in-laws and headed for Colorado’s state capitol for an old-fashioned protest.
Where's Tom Harkin?
Meanwhile, a mile or so down the road, President Obama was signing away our future to pork-bellied politicians and groveling special interests, all in the name of the all-mighty Stimulus. The huddled masses of the disenfranchised, including Yours Truly, bundled around the steps in the cold, blustery Denver wind, eyeing a roasted pig, which sat a tantalizing ten feet away toward the bottom of those steps.
Speaking Pork to Power
During the festivities, in addition to a parade of speakers, which included Tom Tancredo and Michelle Malkin, a real live and quite hairy black pig was trotted around to the delight of the onlookers… except for the tattooed and multi-ringed onlooker at my elbow who kept insisting, “I need to get to the pig! Excuse me… I need to get to the pig!”
PETA Disproves
I learned later that she was an animal rights activist concerned about the pig’s comfort and safety. Had I known that, I would have offered to let her through to the pig only if she promised to slaughter it and roast it on the spot. Oh well. Maybe next time.
We made some signs before the event. One read, “Grand Theft Obama,” which my brother-in-law held proudly. It was good enough to get him a brief mention on one of the local television newscasts. Another, which my son held, read, “Q. Where’s Tom Harkin?! A. Spending your money on pet projects and special interests… Now that’s CHANGE and HOPE!”
My daughter signed a super-sized check addressed to our benevolent government, representing the $30,000 or so she owes our beloved leaders thanks to the bill the Messiah signed granting all money to him and those he deems worthy.
Super-Sized Check
I had hoped that if we got close enough to where Obama signed the bill that they might be handing out money. A trillion dollars is a lot of money! Oh well. Maybe next time.

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