As a vocal proponent of amending the Constitution so that the Federal government’s sole and exclusive power is to regulate college and professional sports, I am still somewhat dismayed at the news that sullied my desk the other day about Roger Clemens.
Roger the Rocket, so dubbed for his ability to strike out batters in years past, is now better known as Roger the Dodger for his inability to tell the truth about his use of performance-enhancing drugs. Unfortunately for Roger, the truth apparently eluded him while under oath before a Congressional hearing on steroid use in professional sports. As a result, Roger has been indicted by a Federal grand jury for what amounts to perjury.
In a sane world – that is, one in which the Federal government’s sole responsibility is policing sports – Clemens’ indictment would have been a necessary evil as part of the government’s only Constitutional power. But in this mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world, Clemens is being persecuted for no good reason.
It’s absolutely pointless to spend tax dollars on a Federal show trial of Clemens. I must have checked my copy of the Constitution at least a dozen times searching in vain for any mention of Congressional responsibility for Major League Baseball. But maybe it’s one of those clauses that covers everything, like the Commerce Clause or promoting “the general welfare.”
Let me be clear… This has nothing to do with anything other than a bunch of Congressional blowhards taking down easy targets so they can at least look like they’re accomplishing something. There’s nothing at stake here; only the apparently fragile egos of our beloved representatives. Congressional hearings have become nothing more than a three-ring circus of ghouls pick-pocketing the dead and then piling into their gas-guzzling freeloader-mobile to pick-pocket the taxpayers.
Meanwhile, the city of Houston has to undergo another indignity in a long line of indignities that stretches back to the 1979 Cotton Bowl.
My great hope, which I pray for fervently and daily, is that the change promised by our incoming president, Barack Obama, will be real and permanent. Mr. Obama has repeatedly promised to bring an end to the current BCS Bowl system. You know, it’s the postseason college football system that deprives us all of any satisfactory ending to the college football season.
On at least two or three occasions, Mr. Obama has made it clear that he too would like to do away with the current system in favor of a playoff system. This is change I can believe in, and it almost swayed my vote this past November, since the other candidate was stupefyingly silent on this issue, choosing instead to fire up his constituency with phrases like, “I will reach across the aisle… I have fought my party on many issues… The Lion of the Senate, Ted Kennedy…” and so on and so forth.
Anyway, I believe in a Living Constitution, one which designates that the powers of the United States government are limited to college and professional sports. I propose an amendment which makes this permanent and cedes all other previous powers to the states.
Some will say this is ridiculous; that it’s a return to the dastardly Articles of Confederation. I say, however, that it’s not even close. Our esteemed Congress has proven time and again how effective it is regarding issues of sport. Witness the many hearings on steroids where giants such as Mark McGwire and Roger Clemens were reduced to shaking masses of steroidal Jell-o. Mmmmm, mmmm, good!
If Congress has this kind of power, to destroy careers and render Hall of Fame performances useless, imagine what it can do in the future! Imagine all the people, watching college football playoffs with beer. You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one.
But it is possible, only if we the people would rise up and demand of our representatives an equitable and television-friendly world of sports. Don’t worry about GM, Afghanistan, Russia, Pakistan, embryonic stem cell research, fruit flies, biofuels, Global Warming (or Climate Change, depending on how warm or cold it is this year), health care, and whatnot. Let we the people through our local and state governments handle those problems; we’ll leave it to the federal government to work on the important and complex issues.
Recent Comments