Plunging Towards Gomorrah
Posts tagged Telly Monster
Wishful Thinking: Tom Harkin Edition
Mar 4th
I can hardly believe it’s been more than three months since we’ve posted about America’s favorite member of the Senate, Tom Harkin. As I’ve stated before the Senator from Iowa endorses loser presidential candidates, creates ironic campaign photo ops, introduces piss-poor legislation, panders to his constituency, eats pork, adds pork to aforementioned piss-poor legislation, and wants to take back the White House. Yeaahgahagaagharwaaa!
Harkin is never silent. There’s just not enough time in the day to keep up with all his ridiculous comments. Over at Hot Air they’ve been watching MSNBC so people like me won’t throw up. I wish someone did the same for Tom Harkin. I’d do it, but I’d probably throw up.
Harkin has a new theory on ObamaCare. The GOP doesn’t want it to pass because they know America will love it.
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This isn’t actually far from the truth. The 30 million or so citizens who get free health care on the backs of all the poor schmucks who have to actually pay for it will love it! The real truth is that the Democrat party wants these people sucking from the teet of the government forever so they’ll vote for the Telly Monster party for life.
Tom Harkin says that as Americans learn more about the bill between now and November they’ll love it. How will Americans learn to love a bill that doesn’t even kick in until 2013? Harkin has been sniffing too much pork.
What, Me Worry?
Jan 30th
A few months ago I posted some new fresh mascot ideas for Democrat party. Much fun was had by all but I’m not out of ideas. I expect these suggestions to keep coming so mascots is now an officially category here at The Daily Plunge. Let’s talk about Telly Monster. Here’s a guy that is afraid of change, paranoid, and prone to manic behavior. That sounds just about like Al Gore except Telly doesn’t grow a beard after personal struggles. The world is a scary place. We all have every reason to be worried and paranoid. Halliburton owns the White House. The War on Terror is a never ending conflict perpetrated on exploited middle-easterners for oil. Christians still insist on believing in the Bible. Worst of all, the world faces the greatest challenge in the history of mankind with the threat of Global Warming.
Telly puts a face on the fear each of us has about our bleak and hopeless future. He’s enlightened, while others insist he should be more optimistic, Telly understands the complex and frightening future that awaits unless the government does something about it. The best part is that Telly is likable. Despite the gloomy worldview, he likes to hop around on a pogo stick and play the triangle. Frankly it’s impossible not to love someone who does that. Telly represents the masses. People that need protection, people that need government protection, people like Telly, people like the Democrat party. The great patriots that have “he’s not my president” bumper stickers. Does it get any better than telling your fellow citizens that citizenship is void unless there’s a Democrat is in the White House? Indeed it does not. For part-time Americans everywhere, Telly Monster is the answer.
